Next Friday, August 17th, all of our offices will be closed for our inaugural corporate retreat. We’re all packing up for a day of announcements, synergies, and paradigm shifts at the Ron Jon Resort in Cocoa Beach FL.
I can see the DM News article now:
Company Trust-Building Retreat Ends in Lack of Trust, Eight Seriously Wounded
Teramedia’s company retreat ended in disaster when employees are injured after attempting multiple synergy building shifts.
Eight employees were hurt during an exercise (involving puppets, a dozen eggs, a bed sheet and a slideshow) when personal synergy streams between several team members crossed, which resulted in an energy singularity that ripped a hole in reality.
World renowned scientist and ghost buster Dr. Egon Spengler explained, “Never cross the streams. It would be bad, really bad. And I mean end of the world kind of stuff.”
Matthew Mader, one of the executives was committed to the nearest asylum following a case of what experts consider advanced post-traumatic stress disorder. Since the incident, and ever since, he only mutters “Close ‘em Matt! Close ‘em Matt!”
Steps have been implemented by the company to ensure that the employees never attempt synergy/trust/team exercises ever again. These precautions include mandatory use of the company’s new screensaver which reads “you’re replaceable”, creating a tattle-tail rewards program, and choosing one guy (randomly) to be the office be-otch.
Thats damn near close to reality if we let Steve pick the exercises!
Posted by: Matt Mader | 08/13/2007 at 08:53 AM
Referring to the office be-otch: When you say randomly, you mean in order of hire date, right?
Posted by: Jeremy Needelman | 08/13/2007 at 10:28 AM